The truth is, they are all right and they are all wrong. What I believe is there are THREE factors of attraction (with many sub-branches with each one).
We'll start this off by naming them.
Physical, Emotional and Sexual.
Before I go on, get the thought of Physical and Sexual being the same thing out of your head completely. They are not.
We'll begin this with Physical attraction. Physical attraction relates to more of the physical view and your preferences to how someone looks Physically. This includes their hair, eyes, lips, body shape/weight/height/etc. This is what you find visually appealing to look at and touch. Many people will shame people (more often than not women trying to shame men) for finding this attraction in people. It is nothing to be ashamed of having preferences or not finding someone "Hot" or "Cute" or "Sexy" enough to go out with. This is a form of attraction, whether someone likes it or not, every person you ever date, talk to or even LOOK at, your brain will rate them on the Physical attraction scale. This is not in your control but what your brain finds to be appealing. You can hide it, you can cover it up, but it's there in every single human being.
Next we'll go onto the Emotional attraction. Emotional attraction is a bit more complicated. This is because it has so many sub-factors within it. When people say "Look at the beauty on the inside, not the outside" they want you to be Emotionally attracted to someone. However, like Physical, it's just not there for every single person. This can range to having the same beliefs to having the same tastes to just getting along with someone. The range is just to large to go into without writing 50 chapters+ about all of them. But the overall result of this is someone that you can be around that you can feel as ease with. You can trust them, feel safe around them, talk to them. You can communicate with each other and not feel turned away often. To relate it a little more, you most likely have Emotional attraction with almost all of your friends if not every one of them. (Which in no ways says you should date all your friends, just that THAT is the type of attraction this is). Some people will read this and not see it on any sort of level they believe Emotional attraction is. But it's just the attraction that your pro (good) emotions are high when with them.
Now we'll move onto Sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is not how happy you are to talk to them or how good they look. Sexual attraction is more about the arousal you feel around the person. It involves arousal and even sexual interests in bed that can heighten arousal or pleasure. This is an attraction that people are not as open about because hey, you ho up to someone and tell them they make you sexually aroused. Chances are you're getting a restraining order and a fine for harassment. But like Physical attraction, Sexual attraction exists. It plays more of a role in whether you date/sleep with someone than anyone will be willing to admit out loud. If you're not sexually aroused by your lover, than chances are it's more of a friend to friend relationship which does not last forever for people who want to start a family and settle down.
That's not all that is to be said on these three factors, in fact, those paragraphs were only to help define what they are.
As mentioned in Emotional attraction, you don't have to date someone you're attracted to by just that factor. In fact you don't have to date someone you're attracted to by any or all of the factors. This is now pushing into my theory OF the three factors. If you are only Emotionally attracted to someone, chances are you are only friends with them. If you're only Physically attracted to someone, chances are you only look at them as "Eye candy" so to speak, because that is the only attraction there, the visible kind. If you are only Sexually attracted to someone, chances are you aren't friends, you don't look at them that much, you might have a one night stand and that's it.
What all three have in common is if a relationship is based off of just ONE of them, chances are, it's not going to last. However now lets make it two. If you're Emotionally and Physically attracted to someone, chances are, you might be friends with them and have fantasies about them, but you probably will never actually sleep with them by any sort of planning. If you're Emotionally and Sexually attracted to someone, chances are you are friends with them and it might get a bit frisky if you are close to them Emotionally, but without any Physical attraction, you just wont stick together with there being no visual fulfillment. Sexually and Physically should be almost a no brainer that is will never last.
Before I go on, while we see Physical and Sexual attraction as being DIFFERENT. That does not stop them usually always being together. Although there are cases of having one attraction without the other.
Now onto all three together, this is the "Whole Package" so to speak. You find them visually appealing, you can be aroused with them and you find yourselves on a tight Emotional bond. This kind of attraction of all three WILL last if it's by both (or more) parties involved. Why? Because the relationship is not on a string of one attraction and it is not missing something completely.
Obviously it's not black and white, we could use a scale of 0-10 of how attracted in each attraction you are to someone and having a 5 in all three is better than having a 10 in one or two but having a 0 or 1-2 in the others. Or all three 3's and 4's are again not as good as like 2 8's and 1 3.
All of this however is theory. When theory is put into practice, it's never as black and white, there are usually more sub-factors in there that blind the three main factors. But the next time someone takes it offensive that you find them Physically and/or Sexually attractive, just remember that everyone does this, whether they know it or not and without those two factors WITH Emotional attraction. Chances are it's a doomed relationship from the start.
Before ending this, we are done with the theory and all, but people should take this into serious consideration. No one wants to be an "object" but no one wants to be just a "friend". If you want a relationship, all three of these factors are needed. Yes, you must be friends (Emotional attraction), you must find each other visually appealing (Physical attraction) and you simply must be able to be aroused by your partner (Sexual attraction). All three together make the perfect mix for a long lasting healthy relationship. Do not let anyone tell you a relationship should be focused on Physical, Emotional or Sexual. All three are a MUST.
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